Friday, September 13, 2013

Another Delusional Feminist Spinster

Kate Mulvey tries to explain why she is still single at 50. Not surprisingly, she seems to think there is nothing wrong with her, but it is all the fault of the men she dates.
For me, this is stating the blindingly obvious. I've lost count of the times men have rejected or insulted me simply because I was brighter, wittier or cleverer than they are. 
They have called me 'intimidating', 'scary', 'difficult' and 'opinionated'. Translated, that means: 'You are too clever and I don't like it.'
Here is a taste of her dating style:
As far as I'm concerned, a dinner party isn't complete without a bit of an intellectual tussle during dessert - whether it be on the finer points of Ed Miliband taking on the trade unions, or President Obama playing a high-stakes game with President Putin over Syria. 
But little did I know that by honing my neurons and showing my intellectual rigour, I was scuppering my chances of romantic success. 
The backlash against my brainpower began in earnest in my 20s, when I was a struggling writer going out with Sebastian, a high-flying City trader. Initially he loved dating a writer - even (or, perhaps, particularly) a constantly broke one, and he had to rescue me by paying for everything. But as my career and social life suddenly took off, his affection turned to resentment. 
My career entailed a round of seminars, high-profile dinners and exciting parties. Sebastian might have made million-pound deals but he couldn't handle being my 'plus one'. After three years he told me he'd met someone who 'needed' him. Since then, relationship after relationship has imploded like a sinking soufflé.
... Like a lot of career women, after years of looking after myself I have learnt to see men not as protectors but competitors.  
Unlike the canny girls who learnt how to flirt with men from an early age, the brainy ones, like me, were too busy with their books to master the art of flattery. Instead we challenge rather than charm, we control rather than compromise. No wonder men find it hard to like us.
Actually, I don't think anyone--man or woman--likes to be around a person who is an argumentative, controlling, nit-picking, know-it all.. Not everything should involve "an intellectual tussle." I suspect her suitors aren't intimidated by her intellectual superiority, but tire of every conversation being a debate.

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